It’s only been a week, so it’s too early to panick. But i’m starting to feel less interested in school and motivated to care. Naturally, I’m self driven. But I think my time can be better spent.
following the ‘system’ is a safe route to play. But there’s so much gaps in the curriculums, particularly in the breadth of material and the way they teach in university. I don’t think it’s particuarly useful, or more precisely it’ll take years more of courses for it to be actually usefully applied. By that i mean at a deep level, at the level that will challenge the way the world currently works.
I’ve been content with following the mold because i believed I had to know the rules before you break them. But after watching conversations of VC’s and CEOs. it’s actually daring students in the 20’s that fundamentally challenge and change the world. How can that be? they know so little. It’s actually because they’re not molded by group think. They don’t know what not possible, only aware of what is possible right now. Furthermore what is possible right now, is evident to only the “digital nativetes,” organisms who grew up in an era dominated by electronics, social media, and smart technology. We are primed to change the world. Following the system behooves us.
But it’s safe. it’s not particularly hard to put your head down and bash thru assignments, cram for exams, and live college dazing thru, following instructions. I’m not interested in this, i will continue to do so until the point where i have to choice one path or the other. I’ve always taken calculated risks. Mostly out of desperation but also because i have that luxury. I don’t have a family that i need to immediately support. I don’t even like spending money. I can live cheaply, as long as if i’m dedicating myself to something worthwhile.
I want to take more CS courses. There’s a hacking group in cmu, there’s an underground feeling to it. But, they’re the best in the world at hacking competitions. If i take these classes and dedicate myself to these hacking groups definitely i will falter in my classes. I’ll be worked like a mental slave. My gpa is going to abysmal hell.
But how much does gpa matter to me….I dont’ want to work for a company. Climbing a 30 yr long ladder to become manager/executive sounds terribly slow way to change the world. Knowledge. Ability. The ability to create and change that’s what i want. That’s not quantifiable. A D in CS might be infinitely more useful that A in stress analysis. But, only if I’m wiling going to apply the CS material creatively. No body is going to hire me for CS. If they did it’s probably not a company that i’d work for. But the core knowledge of CS is more meaningful/impactful than structural physics. Programming has greater capacity to generate change. (Elon musk’s engineering ingenuity is making me doubt this greatly, but nevertheless for the investment programming is the way to go. He also showed me you don’t have to contain to one industry, most likely if your lucky you can make impact in one, it’s not impossible to do multiple ones. Renassiance man hasn’t fully died, even with exacerbation of rigid specialization.)
I’m banking on myself. If i leave the system there’s no going back. The only thing i have to test my judgement choice is: do i wanna live a life following A: going with the system but surely having a secure future. or do i wanna roll my fateful genetic dice and see just how clever and entrepreneurial i actually am.
It’s the latter, i would rather, in any lifetime, fail and die fast, than live excruciatingly.
p.s: Thank you parents for doing well enough that i don’t have to worry about feeding you guys and letting me follow my dreams. I hope if i do fail, my failures contain to myself. Or at least the period of my failure, because i will bounce back in the event i do fail. Leo Jiang is not about that giving up, rolling over and playing dead life…